What to Do if a Guy Thinks Your Getting Clingy and How to Be Attractive to Him Again

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The first date went well. The second, even improve. Things seem to be heating up between the two of you, so yous accept the logical side by side steps: You change your Facebook condition to "in a human relationship," plot out a calendar month's worth of romantic dates, and ask him to blow off his Sun night football ritual to run across your parents instead.

Besides much? Well, yeah. You lot take to pace yourself. A successful human relationship should experience more similar salsa dancing than a football game tackle: If yous hurl yourself at a guy headlong, you'll scare the crap out of him. But if you lot step gracefully forwards and and then move back, giving him a chance to follow, you two will autumn into a groove together. Sometimes y'all're moving toward each other; sometimes y'all're stepping abroad. But every bit long as you lot keep feeding off of each other'south energy, the intensity volition build—and nobody will terminate up confront-down in AstroTurf.

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The trouble with interim clingy is that it puts your guy on the defensive. Can information technology go both ways? Sure. Guys can exist clingy, too. But that's not what we're concerned with here. We're addressing those ladies who come on likewise fast, wrap upward too hard, and don't let go. That's not you, right? To find out for sure, read on for the behaviors that tin can brand or intermission a relationship.

Cool: Leaving your panties at his place
Clingy: Leaving your toothbrush at his identify

Strategically forgetting some lacy lingerie is a sexy way to say, "Don't forget well-nigh the crawly nighttime we had." In dissimilarity, stashing your toothbrush in his medicine cabinet says, "Don't call back for a minute that we're just having casual sexual activity." Look—if you're sleeping over at his identify on the regular and you remember information technology'd be easier to go out a few toiletries behind, just ask him if it's cool. Requite him an opportunity to say yeah. Then he won't feel like you're forcing yourself into his life.

Cool: Sympathizing with his dislike for his ex-girlfriend
Clingy: Expressing disdain for his attractive female colleague

He hates his ex? Fine—so you can, also. But if he has professional person respect for a busty colleague who wears killer heels, you just accept to have it. That shouldn't be a problem if you trust him, but if you're feeling insecure, but talk to your dude. But don't put him on the defensive: "I experience uncomfortable considering she'due south so pretty" is a lot ameliorate than "That girl Tammy seems like a bitch." Jealousy is a especially malignant form of clinginess, and if you permit it in, information technology can create resentment, miscommunication, and a host of other relationships bug.

Cool: Turning downwards a friend'south invite considering you lot've already fabricated plans with your guy
Clingy: Blowing off your friends every time your guy casually suggests hanging out

You know what's sexy? Independence. Unless your guy'southward a control freak, he wants you to have a life that runs smoothly, even when he's not dictating the adjacent move. It'southward okay to occasionally have other plans. In fact, it's a adept affair. When he offhandedly suggests that you 2 sentinel the entire Die Hard marathon on Fri night, y'all can say no. Endeavor this: "I'm busy Friday. How about dinner on Saturday instead?" Of form, don't pretend to be decorated if you're not. That'due south a problem, as well.

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Cool: Leaving the bar early and telling him to call you tomorrow
Clingy: Sticking around but acting upset considering he's not ready to leave

If you're tired, bored, or worried nearly waking up early for piece of work tomorrow, give him a kiss and take off. It'due south no big deal. What is a large deal is sitting quietly and stewing because you just assumed he'd get out when you did. He'll notice, fifty-fifty if he'd rather not. And what he'll have away from the silent anger is that y'all recall your desires should always come before his.

Absurd: Texting when he's 10 minutes late for a appointment
Clingy: Texting "what'south up?" every fourth dimension you're bored

A "what's upwards?" text is like saying, "I need attention now!" So if you're thinking near him, exist direct about it: "Just thinking about you. Hope yous're having a great twenty-four hours." That way you're not forcing him into a conversation that he may not have time for.

Cool: Checking in when he's out of town for a weekend piece of work trip.
Clingy: Checking in when he'due south out on the town with his guy friends.

Curious nigh what he'south up to? Enquire him the next time you see him. Otherwise your impatience might come up off as clinginess. Texting questions like, "Are you lot having fun?" Or "What are you guys up to?" is annoying at best and suspicious at worst. Plus, when he's out having fun, he'd like to imagine y'all doing something you lot love, like hit the gym, catching up with a friend—whatsoever. Annihilation's ameliorate than sitting by the phone waiting for an update.

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Clint Carter is a reporter and editor with a mag journalism degree from the University of Missouri.

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Source: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19967203/are-you-clingy/

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